You're completely useless in the revolution.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
