my mouth tastes like poor choices
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Acid is not a monday night drug
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
