i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
