hotel room ftw
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
