Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
