Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
