..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
