So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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