If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
