That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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