i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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