i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
