don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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