No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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