Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you win again, gameday.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
