You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
