i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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