Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
they're like a gay fantastic four
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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