If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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