if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
