That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
