he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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