i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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