Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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