Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
