I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
