You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
