You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
