i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The best revenge is premature balding
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
