just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
