I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think your dad took our porno
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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