she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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