so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
