This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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