I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We're too hungover to prance.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
