She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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