some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
