Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
