i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
