it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
