SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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