I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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