That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
