Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just high enough for therapy.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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