A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
