Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
