i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
