Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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