I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
