well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
