my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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